lazy to post ;DDpost short short de when to school at 8.40plus plus && was late for gu zheng. so decided not to go . thought poa was at 9.30 . heard wrong T_T then went to take books from locker. in the end , never go >.<" teacher gan me ... say what . i dun wan to see you in my class anymore. WOOTS. SO FIERCE ;D haha. then went for ss. only 4 people >.<' so pathetic at first . but 4 more came . LOls.LDM called my mama again . complain complain complain . 3rd time !!! asshole. cause never go cca. untill 1 plus plus then go and sit there do nothing.then keeping the instruments that time ,LDM saw me. i tell her call my mama ;DD say i got go .. wahahha .&& she did ;D and skip skip skip ~ went home && slept afternoon nap xDD
today was just a boring day ~
went for gu zheng as per normal && also went for maths remedial to pon cca.
wanted to pon till the last hour then go back, but received a msg. saying ....
come back . teacher marking attendance. .... && so went back ..
&& skip skip skip ~
nothing to post, really.
everything changed after the camp trip . i know that i have hurt 3 people && ii am so sorry . in this problem .. at least one will get hurt, & i dun know what to do. i am feeling really terrible. the reason ii am not accepting anyone is that ... i dun wan anyone to be hurt , i dun wan to be selfish , i dun wan to lose anyone. is just so simple. && i dint know that this problem would actually happen on me. i also really cannot stand it anymore. things are getting worse ;/ now what ? ii cant talk to them ? ii cannot go out with them? ii cannot sms them ? so what can i do ? i wont lose my friends just because of small problem . everytime you will just throw your temper at me. how do i feel ? good meh ? of course not la. after awhile say sorry ~ whats the point man . && you ... keep running away when seeing me, you think is fun ? playing hide && seek uhs? very tiring de leh . buai tahan sia. you keep running away . then you prefer like that ? going out with friends, see me run away . then ... make other people trip wasted going out with friends and end up playing hide and seek with you ?? what the fuck luhr ~ see you keep running . waste my, my friends, your friends time. chasing you . then what you wan me do ? disappear isit? since you wan play like that, wherever you go . then let me disappear.
just came back from camp yesterday && was so tired . camp was so fun ~ the first night was at the bus. didnt sleep at all . was so tired in the morning && reach. ate breakfast && cave time.firstly thought that caving was so tiring as we have to climb many many stairs ..slowly climbing up .. feel like fainting and keep looking at the floor to cool down . && skip skip ... ta han till the top && very tired. there is this part that need to slide down made up of mud? limestone? and so scary . bo bian . have to slide down . if not also cant go out. and shoo ..i slide down .amanda was my ginuea pig ;D everything she do first . woots~ && then all slide down . we have to go through a hole after that . && we went through. it was so fun lurh ~ after going down the hole was water ;DD water cover our feets and all our shoes and shorts are wet . the water was cooling and fresh. it was a very long way through the water. we still have to crawl in the water. so cold. if sway .. our heads will tio hit by the limestones or whatever. and is so dark inside. never expected. all of our friends are all so caring . all keep asking ok anot. and becareful ~ first time see them that ;D felt so happy. caving was bout 2 to 4 hours ? dun know. because of all those crawling. leg got blue-black . LOLs. but its worth . so fun . lunch time decided whether to go water rafting . && alot of us girls had their ..... on that day , so suay . but since we are already wet . might as well go rafting .we stand on a lorry && the journet was like 20 to 40 min ... so many people sqeezing on the lorry ~ and water rafting !!! so fun ~ 5 people in a 'float boat 'and paddle .... other group splash water at us && i splash them back . their group instructor then pull me into the water. ROAR. !! our instructor very CUTE ;D amanda fell into the water at the double flow? && instructor react v v fast & pull her up . this part where we have to capsize the boat ... amanda & wei teck was to sit at our side and the instructor turn the boat .... amanda hit my face and my teeth bleed. LOLs. skip skip skip ~ take lorry to the camp side and we had 2 hours to bathe. we bathed and i slept till 7.15 straight went to eat ... woots. ~ 3rd day , woke up at 6 . so cold... brush teeth with mineral water as the tap water is muddy ~went to the tamil school and painted. so tiring && i had to write WSSS, 3G 22'05'2008my hand writing was so ugly that day ~ hand was abit dirty and wash with thinner. i dint know it would be pain and i pour alot for zhen yang. wahahah . his and amanda hand is like da bian . but he manage to get it off. and amanda dint. ii was like a maid that clear their dish for them , dun know why but felt like clearing then clear lurh ~ after that took bus to hotel . && shopping . went to k.o fun man . we were shouting like mad inside && we on the music so fucking loud ;D all of us stand on the chair && they dance like mad woman . but i did not ;D sang many many songs . always got duet part . amanda will sing the guy . me sing the girl .wahahahaa ;D amanda will also sing the ella part in S.H.E .. zi yu selina , me hebe. LOLS. then after that ate dinner, and went back hotel and went to pasar malam ..in the night did not sleep well .. slept together with amanda. cause was suppose to overnight with amanda and zi quan . && dun know what zq drink that made him somehow tired and he slept .... haha4th day in the morning ~ woke at 7 plus ~ wan hui knock on the door + 2 morning calls. && was so cold. woke up . ate breakfast . && off we went .. took bus to singapore. at the custom the police there keep asking question .. go where . fun ? what school ? holiday ? && many many more. LOLs. && way back to school && home ..how i wish the time in the bus would last ;D
I REALLY CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE. WHY ALL FRIENDS BECCOME LIKE THAT ? WHY ALL BECOME SO EMO SAD AND DEPRESSED ?WHY KEEP SAYING TEARS KEEP FLOWING AND HEART PAIN ? DUN YOU ALL FEEL TIRED OF KEEP CRYING BECAUSE OF USELESS THINGS? HEART PAIN ? FAKE SMILE ?DUN YOU ALL GET VERY IRRITATED KEEP WRITING THOSE TYPE OF USELESS THINGS? II REALLY CANNOT CONTROL LIAO . I HAVE KEEP IT LONG ENOUGH AND II ALWAYS ACT AS I DUN BOTHER AS THIS KIND OF THING IS ONLY WASTING TIME... FRIENDS ARE JUST FRIENDS.. EVEN IF CANNOT GO BACK LAST TIME, YOU ALL ALSO CAN START AFRESHED WHAT ?WHAT'S WRONG MAN ? CANNOT START AFRESHED MEH ?&& YOU ALL KEEP SAYING WHAT IF YOU ALL DUN EXIST IN THE WORLD, BUT YOU ARE ALREADY IN THE WORLD , WHAT CAN YOU ALL DO ? DIE? THATS THE BEST SOLUTION ? I DUN THINK SO . IF LIKE THAT .. YOU ALL ARE JUST HAVING STUPID THINKING. YOU ALL ARE GOING TO DIE ONE DAY. WHY NOT LIVE HAPPILY THEN SAD AND LEAVE ON YOUR LIFE? IS IT SO DIFF ? I DUN GET IT MAN . HAPPINESS CAN BE MADE WITH YOU OWN HANDS. SADNESS ALSO . YOU ALL ARE JUST BEING LAME. IS IT BECAUSE YOU ALL GOT NOTHING TO DO ?GO FIND SOMETHING DO LURH THEN WASTING YOUR TIME AND TEARS ON EACH OTHER AND STUPID THINGS. JUST HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND LURH . IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ALL NEVER MEET EACH OTHER THEN GOOD MEH ? MAYBE YOU ALL MEET OTHER PEOPLE EVEN WORSE. AND SOMEMORE YOU ALL ALREADY ARE FRIENDS .. SO WHY STILL BOTHER IF NEVER KNOWN EACH OTHER ?ALL OF YOU ARE JUST SO LAME LURH ~ IS THE FATE THAT YOU ALL KNOW EACH OTHER ALREADY . && YOU ALL SAY IS DIFF IS DIFF. WAT MAKES IT DIFF ?IS YOU ALL THE THINKING THAT THINK IS DIFF LURH .. ACTUALLY NOTHING CHANGED. NOTHING YOU ALL KNOW. HOW I JUST WISH II CAN TRANSFER SCHOOL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. II DUN WISH TO HAVE LAME FRIENDS WHO ARE WASTING THEIR TIME ON USELESS THINGS && SAYING USELESS THINGS. THIS ALL SUX MAN !!
wanted to wake up at 11 plus cause amanda say maybe we will go to bugis at bout 1 plus. but i woke up at 8 plus. force myself to sleep again . but ii was half asleep and half awake from 8 plus to 9 plus. 10 plus fully wake up.. really cannot sleep anymore.. if not will get headache.took lrt from keat hong. walking to keat hong lrt that time got 2 police stnading there. so scary .. was thinking to run away or walk towards... if i run .. then maybe they think ii did something wrong. so ii walked forward.. but heng nothing happen ;D walk into the lift, then ii was the last and the one pressing the lift.then got one small little girl with mother and aunt from japan or korea i think ;D they got out the lift first ... the mother and aunt say thank you . then the small little girl say thank you to me too ;D so happy. reached lot 1 and as usual ii was late(late queen) ;D wanted to pierce ear at yellow. but closed .. only left blue at that level . bo bian went to pierce. so pain lurh ~ but .. not quite lurh . haha. change the stopper from metal to rubber. if not vv diff to take out.. ii was shivering and that guy working in the blue shop purposely want to stress me && keep looking at me pierce. haha. whatever ~ then after pierceing . took mrt to bugis.. a long long ride. during the train ride got once, the mrt not very stable. then got one guy bang into me. then i bang into shi ying. ii change and stand another place. amanda went to stand there and that guy keep leaning on amanda (back to back)wahahaa. ~ reached bugis. shi ying told me my ear bleeding ~ LOLs. then skip skip skip.. only bought 2 shirt .. and skkip skip skip ... took bus home to plazaon the bus wanted to sit at last row. but no more space ;D so we seat seperately. we were stoning off man . sleeping in the bus ;D haha. vv tired ...go plaza bought comb and earings ~skip skip skipthen go home ;D woots~ so tired && ii am looking forward to going oversea camp ;Dsometimes i do feel terrible at night . cannot help but letting out cries. ii dun wish to remember this king of miseries . ii have kept it in my heart for a long time. && ii dun know who to tell . the feeling is so terrible.. ii dun wan anyone to show concern to me. && thats why ii always do feel sad && lonely and acting happy .........ii just wan to be alone && thats why i did not wan to tell . the person ii need most is gone ... && ii have no one for me then that person . ii just see you gone like that. i feel terrible. so long le.. going to one year liao ... ii held your hands as they were swollen && very hot. ii wanted to cool your hand down && hoping you to get well . but at last no hope ......... ii just wan you to know ... you are the bast && ii will always keep you in my heart . although you are gone.. but in my heart ,, you are still alive ....
dun know what ...last day of school tio detention from 2.30-5.30pm. school ended at 12.20 and ate for bout 40 min ? then went to senja grand buy things. then go back school .send karen home ... then walk back to school . saw 2 kor at basketball caught. 1 li siao me. played basketball with another one. went back to school at 2.15 .. as per normal .. amanda no more money and she was thirsty .. treat her drink milo ... && ii am broke toos ;D detention so bored. 3 hours sitting there playing ... && bout 4.30 zhen yang came && li siao ... he keep mking me laugh .. showing me a funny face.. && when ii tell amanda to look .. zy turn his head away . pretending he did nothing when amanda turn back her head .. zy show me that face again .. haha. although it was detention .. but it was fun ;D
hahs im here to Post Again =)
today nth much really happen...
i was suppose to meet mabel they all at canteen during 7
but i did nt turn up...i jz wan to wish Happy Bday mabel
during Chi... mii gilbert,th always kana scolding from chi teacher
as we r always trying to slp...
than the dam th keep scold the china teacher "cum lan"
lol the china teacher dun understand wat he talking
den keep scold him and ask doris to scold hahas
wat a useless teacher...
mii,th and alan wait for sera and the gang till 630...
but when they come out...they nv say hi and jz leave @@
hahas...nt happen today
it was a normal day and i hope
THAT EVERY 1 IS HAPPY =)
ii dun know why this few days are so... so many people cried.. && no one wants to tell... ii really hack care liao . you all may say ii dun care bout friends anymore. hate me if you all wan ... ii dun give a damn now ...
its dead inside !! i feel miserable !!!
everything is like all my fault. if i had never tell shi ying things , then maybe nothing will happen , today in school was like very tired && pek cek with everything. if ii have offended like scolded or treat you all impaitienly... so sorry ;(all this maybe because ii think ii saw him too many times ba , thats why ii become like so pek cek . (maybe)anyway .. ii will just talk less,listen less,do everything less. and no one can get hurt . && i just hope... ii dont exist in the world ;D
haha im here to post...
haha today is a boring day...
i stay at home for the whole day ><
she say if she is bold there will still be soeme 1 who wan her lol.s
so she went eating
nt soon after my msn gt some prob...the message cannot be deliverd @@
den sera mistaken than i dun wan to talk to her@@and went off9
its nt true..i always wan to talk to euu de
haha at 12 33.sera giv her mother her mother day present
and both her parents giv her a kiss...when did her father become her mother too LOL
i will always love euu no matter wat euu think and wat euu wan.i will always be there to support euu.i jz have 3 word for euu I love Euu
happy mother's day to all mothers ;D
posting the second time today .. cause went to sleep just now.. from 3plus to bout 7 ! roar ... so freaking tired today.uhs! i am so touch ;Dsomeone is willing to lend me his shoulders and wipe away my tears for me when i cry . and when i woked up . i felt hungry ~ and i have nothing in my house to eat . he is willing to help me ta bao food && delivery it for me. haha ~ i am so happy ... xDDgo help mother cook maggie with fishball + vegetables + mushroom + taupok + ABALONE woohoo ~
haven get good sleep last night. woke up at 3.44am and it was like not raining... but loud thunder and lightning was very bright. very scary . and the wind blew the door and the door keep opening and closing. zzzi was closing my ears and thought i was the only one the was awake. after awhile saw my brother turn here and there. then parents also came in . WHOLE FAMILY WAS AWAKE. LOLs. then early morning wake up because of someone's CALL .yesterday lesson was like so bored. history... phy...recess...mother tongue... and english . late for the second time in english lesson and all was because of me. hahaalot of people pour water on my hair with the bottle. and was like so wet.after school went subway ... haha.always eating the same things as amanda as we dun know what to call liao . better than eating TUNA.usually was $12 .. yesterday meal was only$6 . so each only have to pay $3.zzzzthen went back school for library meeting. the teacher's eyes was like so big. and the eyes was like being force out . >.<"shi ying,kk,karen,mabel went hilda house. i went home... cause dun feel like going. mother reaction was like ... you got piano you come home so late. when you dun have piano . you come home so early.than i just laugh and walk away lurh . at around 6 went to meet amanda. she was late... SLOWPOKEthen meet shi ying. she say she would go down by bpp lrt. amanda and i was like so ji dong when each lrt come.haha.we waited for 11 lrt but... she did not come out. we were hiding at one place and alot of people were looking at usand indeed we look like pervert .. like looking under people's skirt . T.Tat last shi ying said she reached mac liao. the game ended. zzzthen meet jh at kopitiam . than bought lots of things.. skip skip skip ~ amanda and shi ying was like so pervertic. they both were pulling or touching each other de.... idk~ but they were lauging like mad. than shop till 10 plus.. went home. as usual he sent me .........-seeing all of you happy... i am happy enough...
at last exams ended ;Dthe most that i really studied hard was biology ... but. it was so difficult lurh ... i am ready to fail.. history only got 4 marks.. what the hell lurh.mother tongue uh ... better not to say. also very lousy ~p.o.a got 22/50 . LOLs. today was like so busy ~2 went to class for camp briefing. i hate de cave thing and sleeping in the "2 story bungalow" LOLs.nevermind~den after that went for oral . uhs~ irritating oral .. so fuck up . make me wait for so long. was so hungry .den somemore the oral .. haha. i say good afternoon teacher very loudly. and the big white fan is just beside me and keep blowing my FRINGE ! teacher was laughing lurh .there was this part... teacher: what do you think bout parents too concern for their children. me:oh ... the parent's parent. LOLs. what the hell i said wrongly den teacher was laughing~and everytime before teacher ask finish question ~i will interupt LOLs. before i go ... teacher: do you have anything else to say ?me: hahaha. teacher: have? me: no no xDDteacher: oh.. ok ..dun be so nervous ... me: haha .. den i walk away ... zzz is not i nervous lurh ... just wan li siao teacher.ate my breakfast+lunch+snack at 4 plus ~all of us like hungry ghost . haha5++ went to gu zheng. 1 person 1 gu zheng !! omg.. i dun know how play lurh . everytime slacking ... den everyone play whole song. i skip here and there . hahaanyway .. holiday still got lots of freaking lessons... almost everyday >.<"
tiring day today ~ at first wanted to go to church early in the morning 6oclock , but as everyone know ~ i am a pig... can sleep whole day without waking up;Das i said... i am going to drown all my sorrow by tiring myself;Dstanding under the sun for hours and walking up and down .... ii am sweaty and tired xDD and dun wish to meet anyone .. sorry ~~ just wish everyone to be happy ~
i understand that it is so tiring to settle things. ~~
just settling one thing for me makes me give up ...
i feel sad again today ..
just because of friendship ba.
person a keep asking me what he can do ...
person b also keep asking what she's suppose to do .
person c also keep aking me what she can go ?
den ... who is going to tell me what i really can do ? o.0?
i feel very bad... i like giving up on people..
how could i ?
when people tries very hard to cheer me up and willing to waste time playing and talking with me.
i really feel bad...
why am i so selfish ??
i dun wan to see people sad...
i rather the person to be sad to be me,,,
and today sy and jh came my house~
they were like so close ya.?
i even get the wrong idea... some thoughts also came into me..
maybe i have ....... for him le ba.
i not sure. but i know he is a good guy .
unlike someone.
but beacause of him ... i dare nt fall in love again !!!
i am scared to be hurt again .
and is is really really very painful ..
i think is all retributions bah ~
last time i keep hurting people's feelings.
now ~~ people's turn to hurt me...
haix.. i am willing to accept all the sadness xDD
i dun wish to see him sad. hurt , emo cause of me...
i just wish everyone to be happy. can everyone do that for me ?
just do that for me. and i am willing to take the sadness sit for you all .
you all may hate me and i dun care.. all i care is.. i wish everyone is happy.
just stay happy.
and to jh...
if in anyway that i have hurt you before ... and make you hurt . emo . or sad.. i am sorry.
really really really....
i am sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry x1000
tomorrow will be a tiring day for me... and what i really can do is...
tired myself up and sleep ;D
ii hope my wish will come true..
-jh would not be so stress up over me ;D
-shi ying would be happy.
-amanda would also be happy.
-th ... be faithful
-zi yang dun be shy ...
-me ... my self to be tired to death ;D
just why this few days so many people being so emo ?? and when people not feeling emo .... i , myself feel emo ...just what happen ?? what happen ?why like this would happen ? people changes.. people's heart changes... people's attitude also changes.... everyone has changed .... their no longer the same anymore. ~~~ just hope that .... everything is back to normal again . i dun wan anyone to be sad.... especially shi ying,amanda and jh . i wan you all to cheer up ;D you all make me feel like crying when you all become like that ~~i can sense that you are really tired settling all our things...when they are all not emo that time. i suddenly feel emo... i ignored you ... is not cause i did not want to say , but... you know it all and you hurt yourself cause of me. i did not tell you alot of things... as i knowthat you are tired of alot of things. even if i am sad. i will still put up a happy face ;Deven i emo i also wont say it out anymore, i dun wan people to worry bout me. and i will just make my cries... silent ;Dmaybe... i will just make myself very tired everyday and sleep ... ;D if cant sleep .. den i will force myself to cry to sleep .. the best way ;D
